The Paper

Twenty-Twenty. A very successful career as an actor has paused as we all grapple with a worldwide pandemic. The decision is made to pursue another dream, for no other reason than time and opportunity. But where to begin?  

Original forays into a post-secondary arts education had been based on foundationally Eurocentric ideals of theatre and though time spent accruing said diploma was not only invaluable but beloved, there was often an expectation to follow those models. Teachers believed they knew exactly what was needed, they taught their students accordingly and there was no recourse against the “Keepers of the Knowledge.”  

However, having spent over two decades in entertainment as a multi hyphenated Black, female-presenting artist and educator, I had seen the evolution of theatre and arts institutions. Perhaps a return to academia would illicit a pleasant surprise. Could I be presented with progressive, learner-centered professors who understand the challenges students now face, and vocalize, amid the era of post-pandemic education and social revelation? 

A quest for the illusive short graduate theatre program began. Though the question of “where” and “when” paled in comparison to the “whys.” Why subject myself to the pressures; financial, emotional or otherwise? Why commit my valuable time and energy to the pursuit of something that in theory has no real baring on my actual work? Why devote myself to something just for the paper of it all?  

There was a humble willingness to learn and be mentored, a pride in my aptitude for research and a hefty facade of confidence in my point of view. However, undergraduate studies had been based in practical skills, not necessarily theoretical ones and those studies had taken place twenty years prior. A constant thwarting of imposter syndrome began that has never left me even as I type these words.  

The truth is I have lived a life where I like to get what I want. I work really hard on getting what I want. And what I wanted was that paper.